Christian Sexual Conflicts Traditional Christianityvs. "The Faith Of Christ"

Christian Sexual Conflicts Traditional Christianityvs. "The Faith Of Christ"
By Bill

"Sex is dirty." - "Sex is wonderful."
"Sex is for marriage only."
"Children aren't sexual."
"Sexual thoughts and fantasies are sinful."
"Sex is an expression of love."
"Sex has nothing to do with 'Christian' love."

The above statements represent some of the many conflicting views about sexualitywith which most of us were raised.

You will recognize that the negative statements are the kind that are used by religionand society to control the sexual lives and attitudes of people. In other words,those who have power over others use such ideas to conform others to some moralstandard that is thought to be absolute. Traditional Christianity has used justsuch ideas for just such purposes.

Christ and the apostles taught that all power structures were to be challenged,not in the sense of political or social anarchy, but in the abolition of the controlof one person over another or any institution over groups of people in the senseof restricting God-given liberties. In these teachings there was an appeal fortransparency in human relationships. This transparency, which really implies bothvulnerability and trust, was to reveal itself in the common bonds of family andsocial relationships.

Jesus challenged both family and social relationship structures, suggesting thatfollowing him would break down traditional allegiances and create new ones.

Today we are seeing the serious breakdown of monogamous marriage and the traditionalnuclear family of European and North American cultures.

For the most part marriage and family practices and structures are the product ofculture, rather than of specific biblical teachings.

In other writings Dave and I have challenged the Christian tradition of monogamy. The breakdown I mentioned above suggests that the time has come for Christiansto seriously reconsider the entire range of marital and sexual teachings that havebeen handed down to us in traditional Christianity. It is time to realize, forexample, that monogamy has never really worked as an exclusive marital/sexual option(we've discussed reasons for this elsewhere) and to seek new structures and bondsthat will better express the vitality and creativity of sexual loving.

Monogamy and a host of other sexual restrictions are the products of a sexuallyrepressive Christianity.

How has this history of sexual repression come about? Various reasons, includingthe body/pleasure-negative traditions of some of the Greek thinkers of the timeof early Christianity, have contributed to this history. In addition, there hasbeen a tendency of Christians to turn the liberating teachings of Christ and theapostles into rules to obey and to be enforced by religious authorities (more powerstructure). The nature of these rules has also tended to reflect small errors ofinterpretation, misplaced emphasis or overemphasis on a particular teaching or aparticular aspect of a teaching and translation or interpretational errors stemmingfrom a moral bias (for example, the tendency to apply the term "porneia",usually translated "fornication" or "sexual immorality" in olderEnglish Bible versions, to every case of sexual intercourse outside of monogamousmarriage; the misinterpretation of the story of Adam and Eve as supporting monogamyand as teaching that nakedness is sinful; interpreting the biblical concepts ofpurity and holiness primarily as calling for abstinence from sexual "contamination").

With the passage of time these small errors and their resulting moralisms have continuallyincreased to the point that the fundamental teachings of Christ have often beenforgotten (for example, loving one another) and the minute and burdensome rulesof Christianity have won the day (for example, the extension of the idea of "fornication"to any kind of premarital sexual contact, from heavy petting to holding hands --really, this is actually frowned upon by some Christians; the sometimes organizedChristian opposition to social nudism --trying to close down nude beaches, etc.).

It is my contention that the general repression of sexuality and the repressionof nonmonogamous loving is not inherent in the Bible, nor was it the intention ofJesus and the apostles to be understood as teaching these views. Yet, it is truethat these ideas are part and parcel of the baggage of traditional Christianity,which has emphasized them to the neglect of love and liberty.

The French writer Jacques Ellul makes a helpful distinction between what he calls"Christianity" and "the faith of Christ". True Christianity(the faith of Christ) he defines as "the revelation and work of God accomplishedin Jesus Christ"; "the being of the church as the body of Christ"(as opposed to the church as religious institution); and "the faith and lifeof Christians in truth and love".

Christianity as tradition he describes as a movement which has virtually abandonedits commitment to the above principles and has degenerated into a moralistic religion,devoid of true love for God and neighbor and obsessed with enforcing a moral codedemanding "chastity, absolute obedience... (and) sacrifice". (The Subversionof Christianity, pp. 11, 17)

It is this perverted version of Christianity which imprisons people in guilt andshame about their bodies and their God-given sexual desires. (This is not to saythat there is no such thing as sexual sin or that we are given license to do anythingwe please at anytime and with anyone in terms of fulfilling sexual desires. Itis to say that Christian love, properly understood, will both live freely in termsof sexual loving and at the same time respect all persons in their relationships,so that fulfillment is accomplished without harming others.) This is not the Christianityof the Bible, that is, the Christianity that Ellul calls "the faith of Christ".

The purpose of Jesus in his life and death was to enable us to fulfill the demandsof the law of God, not by sacrifice and legalistic obedience, but by loving Godand loving our neighbor.

I believe that it is in the intimacy of sexual relationships where this kind oflove can be expressed in a very full way. One of the greatest deformities of trueChristian faith is the collection of teachings that seeks in every way possibleto remove godly love from the sexual experience.

Contrary to this is the simple, yet beautiful, statement of a Christians brotherwho is involved with his family in a sexually loving community in another state:"We believe that sharing sexual pleasure with one another is an extension ofthe love of almighty God."

Obviously, such sharing presents the problem or vulnerability -- the challenge ofopening ourselves to others. Many people are afraid of such openness. I believethat it is only within a loving, caring community, manifesting the kind of lovethat Jesus taught, that sufficient trust can be created to make truly "open"relationships possible.

In a recent newsletter Dave wrote extensively about nudity and that subject wasalso discussed at our first introductory couples' session. It was clear from theresponse at the session that several people were fearful of experiencing nuditywith others. There may be various reasons for such fears, including past religiousand parental teachings and attitudes. These may need to be worked through. ButI believe that the primary issue with nudity is the same as that for sexual openness--vulnerability.

Overcoming this problem in a loving fellowship setting can change a person's lifein a major way -- in terms of body shame and guilt as well as being a preparationfor sexual openness. This is why we emphasize nudity in our materials and groupsession discussions.

The elements of fear and distrust are very significant in terms of all aspects ofthe religious and cultural attitudes toward sexuality.

In other writings Dave and I have discussed how various attitudes and beliefs ofancient peoples have contributed to the understanding of sexuality that is presentin modern Christianity. Much of the content of the sexual belief systems of ancientpeoples derived from superstition, born of ignorance of the working of the humanbody and psyche. The ideas of conception, pregnancy and childbirth were regardedwith a mixture of fear, awe and even worship. The phenomenon of human fertilityand the mystery of sexual bonding were likewise sources of superstitious wonderand little or no practical understanding. Without birth control it had to be assumedthat sexual intercourse would result in pregnancy. All of these elements of lifewere viewed in almost magical ways and indeed witch doctors, soothsayers and thelike were often involved in ritual practices associated with sexual events.

(It might be observed at this point that the availability of many near-foolproofmethods of birth control today opens the way to much greater sexual freedom in generaland should make possible some of the restructuring of marriage and family modelsmentioned earlier. It is worth noting that such restructuring on this basis wouldnot have been possible in the ancient world and indeed would not have been feasibleuntil very recent times. It seems to me that practical/scientific developmentssuch as safe, reliable contraception should make the church rethink the possibilitiesof sexual behavior and patterns. I believe that alert and aware Christians havethe opportunity to explore new and exciting options in these areas.)

It happened that Christianity was born in a culture in which these views of sexualitywere common. Thus, all of Christianity's sexual teachings have been compromisedby such views, almost to the point of continuing to treat sexual phenomena as magical,thus calling for the many controlling taboos.

Today we know that sex is not magic. It may be awe-inspiring, exciting, confusingand even properly regarded as containing elements of mystery. It may be the mostemotionally meaningful aspect of human life. But it is not magic and should notbe treated with the fear and taboos of the past. I believe that traditional Christianityperpetuates these outdated views and we must work to rid ourselves of them in thefellowship of Christian love.

It is these old views that lead to the emotional/spiritual abuse for which manypeople reject this version of Christianity. These views are not characteristic ofwhat Jacques Ellul calls "the faith of Christ".

It is our hope in Liberated Christians that this kind of faith can set us free tolove freely, joyfully and responsibly the way we believe God has made us to love.

'Older sex workers going hungry'

'Older sex workers going hungry'By SALLY FRENCH - Manukau Courier

Tuesday, 05 February 2008

BEN CAMPBELL/Manukau Courier

CONCERNED: Mamatere Strickland is worried about the growing number of underage prostitutes working in south Auckland.

Underage prostitutes are forcing experienced sex workers to go home hungry.

The young girls are taking business away from women who have been working the streets for years, says the Papatoetoe agency that helps prostitutes over 18 who want to leave the sex industry.

Te Aronga Hou Inaianei co-founder Mamatere Strickland says she has had to ask the Salvation Army to get food parcels for mothers who haven’t "had any luck" because of the number of young girls working.

"It’s a supply and demand issue. The younger the supply, the more competition for the older girls," the former sex worker says.

"I guess part of that mentality is the younger they are, the less likely they are to have infections.
"Older women are going home with nothing. It’s been a sad Christmas for many of them – the competition is just getting too much."

A sting by Counties Manukau police in the past month resulted in 25 men being arrested for buying sex from underage prostitutes.

Fifteen street workers, some as young as 13, were taken off the streets during Operation Capio.
Mamatere says the number of underage prostitutes is rising because of the Prostitution Reform Act. "The act has taken police resources off the street and has therefore sent the message to pimps and gangs that there are opportunities to get away with things," she says.

Underage prostitutes don’t dress up in high-heels, fishnet stockings and miniskirts, she says. The girls wear their normal clothing but punters know they are working because they frequent red-light areas after midnight.

She and her team give out condoms and information packs with guidelines on how to keep safe while working on the street.

Prostitutes are also helped with housing and budgeting advice and are encouraged to seek other employment or take part in educational training courses.

Those who want help for their addictions are referred to drug and alcohol services.
Poverty has a role to play in underage prostitution, Mamatere says.

"People are quick to blame the families, but hang on a minute, we’ve got other influences out there impacting on the children.

"P and other drugs also turn family against family and a lot of loving families out there would be broken-hearted to see that their child has gone down this road to destruction."

But the problem won’t be solved by police removing underage prostitutes from the street.
"It’s not about moving them on. It’s about looking at the social, holistic approach to what’s happening and trying to make change.

"Getting the police to arrest them doesn’t solve the problem, they’ll just come back the next night.

"I don’t know why the government didn’t listen when we tried to tell them what would happen.
"Now we’ve got an epidemic on our hands."

She hopes Operation Capio will let people know south Auckland is not a paedophile haven for men picking up "our" children.

Swinging's their thing...

By MIKE STROBEL
Wed, February 6, 2008
Swinging's their thing ...

We should all pile in the family wagon and see what the heck is going on down in Viagra, I mean Niagara, Falls.

The Cheese Capital of Canada never fails to amaze.

Where else in the world can you imagine a daredevil in a barrel surviving the plunge only to drown in a heart-shaped bathtub?

Where else are wax figures and whack-a-moles the biggest ethnic groups?

Where else could an army of swingers, and I don't mean Tarzan, take over a major hotel and convention centre?

Charles Blondin, meet Sexyboots.

Both acrobats, but in different ways.

Blondin walked a tightrope across the Falls.

Sexyboots, well, she just walks a tightrope.

"There's a fine line between love and lust," she tells me down the line from her home in Barrie.

"I can love my husband, but lust after someone else."

And vice versa.

Sexyboots is not her real name.

"We're where gays were 50 years ago, when if you admitted it, your career and family and social life were ruined." So, Sexyboots it is. Let me guess.

"It'd be obvious if you saw me in a club," she says. "I have a large collection of 'hooker boots.' "
I hope the carpets at a certain Niagara Falls hotel are up to the challenge.

Two hundred couples will convene for a Valentine's Day weekend called Take A Bite Of The Apple (TABOTA).

This is not for the faint of heart.

The exact location is hush-hush.

(I'm sworn. But it's not Motel Sex ... um, Six.)

And single men are NOT welcome.

"It may seem like a double standard," says Sexyboots, 37, "but we find single men far too pushy. A lot of couples don't like that. They feel pressured.

"There's also the 'creep' factor. They're single for a reason."

By the by, don't call it "wife-swapping" or risk a face-slapping.

"Swinging" is still okay, but "The Lifestyle" and "lifestyler" are preferred. Rita DeMontis will be tickled, I'm sure.

The bumph from TABOTA organizers says this is the first hotel "takeover" by swingers in Canada.

A Super Bowl of group sex, with teams from the many clubs that dot Ontario, even bedroom communities like Barrie.

"A whole hotel works better," says Sexyboots. "Otherwise you might have a floor of swingers next to a floor of peewee hockey players.

"What I do in my bedroom is my business, but I have no right to expose my lifestyle to others.
"We won't be making out in the halls."

Mind you, the promo does promise "a hedonistic and sexually charged atmosphere."
Seminars include erotic photography and tantric sex.

The pool parties, speed-dating and theme dances sound like fun.

So do the group sex and bondage rooms. Gives "smoking floor" a whole new meaning.

Sexyboots will be there with her hubby, a computer guy who goes by Mr. Boots.

They were college sweethearts and have two kids.

She works for Queen's Park.

Five years ago, after he'd been hinting for months, she said, "Let's do it," and they went to a swingers' Halloween party dressed in army fatigues.

Isn't this adultery, Sexyboots?

"My definition of cheating is doing it behind your spouse's back.

"But I'm not. He's right there with me."

"Playing," swingers call it. As in: Listen, I'll play with Buffy over there, you play with Lars and Sven, and later we'll play Simon Says with Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice, play a little Flying Burrito Brothers on the hi-fi and if we have any energy left, maybe play some Scrabble.

As the promo says: "What do committed couples do to relieve the seven-year itch? Scratch it together!!"

"Wha...?!" says Niagara Falls Mayor Ted Salci, just back from a chili cook-off.
Your honour, that's a real swingin' town you got down there.

"This is the first I've heard of it." He laughs.

"They're local people!?"

From all over. The hotel's not exactly broadcasting it.

"If they're law-abiding, I suppose it's fine."

Even in a God-fearing place like the Falls?

"Well, I won't be cutting any ribbons for them."

Too bad. There goes the swing vote.

Let's Visit A Swinger's Party

So here we are. It’s the Halloween Bash at Club H and the place is packed. There are at least 300 people here and the atmosphere is hauntingly sensuous!!! A hand taps me on the shoulder - as I turn around my eyes are fixated on a lovely woman dressed in a tight catsuit “trick or treat!” she purrs. Oh how I wanted to give her a piece of my “candy”!!! Well, I settled for buying a drink for her and her husband.

As we sat down and began to converse, I found out it was their second Club H party. “We were so nervous when we were here the first time, but it only took a little while before we felt right at home” she went on to say. “Oh, I’m sorry, my name is Cathy and this is Mark. Mark, a tall gentleman with shoulder length hair and old fashioned shyness, smiled, stood up and shook my hand. “Ya know, even if we never party, just being here and feeling so free is taking me away from my shyness... as you can guess, Cathy is more outgoing than I am.” As we continued to converse, I found out that Mark and Cathy had initially been looking for a single female, but have since changed their sights to meet with a couple. “I think I am ready now” Mark said, I felt a little self conscious and wondered if we would be what people are looking for”. I thought “what a nice, genuine couple”, then I looked at his broad shoulders and deep brown eyes and said “I don’t think you’ll have a problem”. Mark said, “We discussed this all week and we plan to look for a couple (or two) to meet for dinner with next week. Of course, with all the after parties going on after the dance, we are ready to go for it”!!! Our conversation continued until a couple whom they obviously met before came up and began to exchange wet kisses. I thought I’d walk, I was getting excited!!!

I walked around and gazed at the dance floor... ooooooh!!! the Ladies Dance! Ladies were already up close and personal. A Ladies Dance Chain was building quickly with hot grinding, rubbing and bouncing! I stopped to watch... (wouldn’t you???).

As the music faded into a slow song I saw people make their way to the dance floor for a little “bump and grind”. In the far corner, I saw a crowd that seemed to be very “enthusiastic”. Time to take a walk!

As I reached over, I saw what the enthusiasm was all about... There were two couples who had been out of town for about 6 months... people were welcoming them back!! The hugs, kisses and “We missed you” were so warm and genuine that I walked up to them and said “This is Terrific!!!” The group laughed and introduced themselves. What I found so fun, was that even though they did not know me, I was welcomed, invited to sit down and even given a glass of champagne!!! Definitely a friendly party!!!

I was again watching the dance floor and I quickly spun around to go to the restroom. That’s when I bumped into Toni. The embarrassing part was that my hand brushed her left breast. She gave me a wide, sensuous smile and said “Now you have to do the same thing to the right one... they get jealous, you know.” Now I am blushing. Toni is clad in leather and I would bend over for her anytime!!! She shook my hand, gave me a hug and walked me over to introduce me to her husband Glen, who was in deep conversation with another new couple that had lot’s of questions. I said a brief hello and walked around with Toni.

People walked up to her, hugged, kissed, (there was a lot of that) and talked, invited her and Glen to an after party, drinks, etc. Many people just came up to say what a great job they were doing with the Club.

The DJs were working everyone into a frenzy now. This is definitely the most fun you can have with your clothes on! The costumes were delectable, sensuous, scary and downright erotic!!! It was the Best Costume Contest and it was obvious that Club H members were as creative as they were horny!!! Ghouls, goblins, slinky witches, angelic vixens, even Little Bo Peep!!!

Couples and groups were pairing up, making party plans and exchanging phone numbers. It looks like a wild evening is in the works. I’ve got several parties to go to myself!!!

Halloween (and any other nite) at Club H is hot, sensuous and filled with fun, friendly people who want to party! We plan to be back for the Halloween Bash - join us!!

The 10 Commandments of Swinging!

1. Never attempt to break up a marriage.



2. Always keep dates unless you give ample notice of changing circumstances.



3. Always keep the first meeting on a "no strings attached" basis, but be prepared to swing if it is mutually agreeable or to give an honest answer if something doesn't click.



4. Never, under any circumstances exert pressure on a partner to swing.



5. Restrict discussions of swinging to known swingers and interested persons seeking information.



6. Protect the anonymity of other swingers by refraining from unauthorized "name dropping."



7. Always maintain the highest standards of personal cleanliness and appearance.



8. Do not engage in any unlawful activity that would discredit swingers as a group.



9. Be friendly and warm with your swing partners, but understand that there is a type of emotional involvement, which is properly reserved for a spouse or "primary significant other."



10. Always show respect for the personal attitudes, feelings and "hang-ups" of other swingers.

Are You A Swinger?

Are you a Swinger?

by http://www.thirdpath.com/articles.htm

The date…1971 you walk into a room of people dressed in tight mini skirts and polyester leisure suits. The gold chains around the neck while showing off their hairy chests, point out how cool they really are. If they are lucky, they will end the evening “swapping” and going home with another persons spouse… Is this you? Chances are, this is the image that most of us, along with the general public, have imbedded in our minds about what swingers are like.

Welcome to 2003! Who are today’s Swingers? Would you believe that Vice Presidents of major corporations, Politicians, Teachers and even Clergy are sharing their most intimate relationships? People that may have just met on the Internet or in person, thanks to thousands of swing clubs, private house parties and personal magazine ads, many are taking the average friendship and going the next step. Some are even meeting at the work place or college dorms.

The big difference now is that it is no longer a lifestyle set aside for dark hidden bars in the tucked away shadows of the inner cities. Lost with this are the Gold chains, Miniskirts and Polyester leisure suits. Amen!

Through our 10 years of observing and/or counseling over 5000 couples within the alternative lifestyles…we have noticed the following:

- Most are middle to upper income

- Most have college educations

- Most have chosen this lifestyle to enhance (Not substitute) their primary relationship.

- Most have very stable and secure primary relationships and would not consider cheating on their significant other…or have the need.

- Almost all are very considerate of others wishes and needs and know what “no thank you” means

- Almost all take major precautions to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.

- We find that a major percentage (better than 80%) are NON-smokers.

- Swingers tend to take care of their bodies more than non-swingers, but than again…this lifestyle is like dating.

- Surprisingly enough over 90% of all women are bi-sexual or bi-curious where only about 40% of the men are orally bi in any given group situation. (About 10% in a non group environment…one on one)

- We find the average age to be 34-40 contrast with the 70’s, the average age was more like 45-50.

What is swinging? Well lets start with the definition given by The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (fourth edition. 2000), where a swinger is defined as “A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex” and/or “A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners” After 10 years of counseling, educating and working with the “modern day swinger” a better stated definition would be:

“Any person or persons engaging in any form of sexual activity in the presents of any one or more individuals other than or in addition to his or her primary partner.” (as defined by Third Path)

We find that previous older definitions do not follow the modern approach of many within the swinging communities. The first and most obvious change in swinging is the fact that a very large percentage of swingers do not and never intend to “swap partners”. We have found that for many in the past, “swapping” was a means of satisfying something that was missing in the relationship that they were locked into. Many were unsatisfied with what they had, but did not want to divorce for reasons that varied from family values to religion. At the same time that this was occurring, many other non swingers were judging them for there sexual deviance even though consensual and in open of there partners. Meanwhile those judging were out cheating on their spouses as their means of satisfying themselves in their lacking relationship.

Today, at least 8 out of 10 couples are in this lifestyle for the “enhancement” of their relationship and NOT for the “replacement” of their relationship. Many couples are finding a new dimension to their already exciting sex life. Just because they are sharing sex with one or more individuals, that does not necessarily mean that they are having intercourse or even physical contact with these other individuals or couples. We find couples or individuals that simply share photos or enjoy the excitement of someone watching while they and their partner arouse each other to the point of total ecstasy and ultimately orgasm. Just the thought of their erection being shared visually by another couple getting aroused right next to them, even though there is no physical contact with anyone other than their primary partner, sends them into an orgasmic state that has not been experienced since their first sexual encounter with their own honey.

We find that there are many levels of swingers and to be definitive as possible, we have attempted to create a scale that might help you determine were you are and where you may want to be.

We call this scale, the “TP” Scale. Why “TP”? Well a TeePee is a circular shaped unit containing a cover, which tends to be flexible and doors that are not locked. Within the swinging environment, we tend to see “circles” or groups that tend to converge based upon common interests. When becoming part of a circle, we know where we are at the time, but as time goes on we may want the flexibility to change or expand circles to meet with our new and ever changing experiences. You might note that in most cases within your circle…the door is never locked. You may opt out of one circle and possibly enter another that is better suited for your new desires. Also note that a teepee looks like a triangle regardless of you view. This too explains the fact that in order to be a swinger…there must be at least a third party or direction aside from you and your primary partner. Hence “Third Path”, which is the Alternative Lifestyle counseling organization that originated this method of being able to share and understand where you and those around you fit and to what circle you belong or have a longing to belong. The following are the various levels of the TP Scale:

“TP” ONE SWINGER:

This is a couple that enjoys sharing sexuality at a safe distance such as over the phone or via e-mail. You may talk dirty and do things to each other by request of your “pen pal” couple or individual.

“TP” TWO SWINGER:

This is a couple that enjoys either being present and watching another couple or individual performs a sexual act or performing a sexual act while being watched or watching while being watched. Maybe you share a hotel room with two queen size beds right next to each other.

“TP” THREE SWINGER:

This is a couple that Has pre set rules and limits as to how far they will go with another couple or individual while sharing sexual activities. This will usually include touching outside of there primary partner. It may also include sexual massage licking and kissing…but never penetration. Usually at this level, a bond or friendship is the goal of all, and is usually not intended as a one-night stand.

“TP” FOUR SWINGER:

This is a couple set aside the rules and limits as to how far they will go with another couple or individual while sharing sexual activities. This will usually includes not only touching outside of there primary partner but, It may also include sexual massage licking and kissing and even intercourse. This grade is usually with an individual or couple that has created a common bond and attraction with the intention of an ongoing relationship and friendship.

“TP” FIVE SWINGER:

This is a couple that shares sexuality with another couple or individual to the extent that they do not have limits other than protection (condoms) as long as they are in the presents of there primary partner and usually sharing each other at the same time (threesomes or for sums). There is not expectation or obligation for long term friendships or relationships…just fun sex. This level, as in any of the levels, does not rule out the possibility of a long-term relationship between any or all of the parties involved.

“TP” SIX SWINGER:

At this level, a couple enjoys meeting people that want to have sex…Plane and simple. Attraction may or may not be important. Safety from disease is usually the only rule of thumb at this level…however, primary partners are still part of these encounters and even though they may have all the fun they want…the primaries always go home or to bed (to sleep) together.

“TP” SEVEN SWINGER:

The grade seven is no longer considered elementary swinging…this is the hard-core swap. I’ll take yours; you take mine…see you tomorrow. We find this a lot with “open relationships”. The hard part with this for of swinging is the Unknown factor of your primary. This is a topic of its own! However…there usually still needs to be somewhat of an attraction to the other individuals involved.

“TP” EIGHT SWINGER:

This is easy…any time, any where with (almost) anyone. If this is you…please be careful!
It is very important to note that even though the “TP” scale provides a base for not only determining where you are, and sharing with others were you are, but there are many variances to all of the “TP’s" above. You may find yourself somewhere in the middle. Remember…they are flexible!

So what about swinging in this society… as we are well aware, almost all religions and most social organizations, highly frown on any such activities…even though cheating is the most common cause of demise in a failed marriage…it’s almost considered “normal”. Many therapists can understand why one would cheat, but being a swinger is judged to be “BAD”! Well, at least according to our society. Contrast swinging, in which partners openly share their sexuality and expression of love in front of the one they call their primary partner, and you can see why swinging has changed and grown over the years. Imagine never cheating or having to lie to the one you love ever again! More and more couples are adding this new dimension to their intimate side of there relationship, while at the same time maintaining their conservative appearance in there work and residential community.

Maybe you have thought about what level of swinger you are…Maybe you’ve not thought about it to this level of detail. Either way, the “TP” Scale is one way for swingers to identify where their boundaries are and make it easier for other swingers to understand their relative experience and preference for involvement.

For further information or counseling on this, or other alternative lifestyles, please feel free to contact Judy J Emerson, PhD. and Nicholas Olevsky, DD.